


Make 'Em Laugh

by bespokenboy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:44:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3096968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bespokenboy/pseuds/bespokenboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the sudden disappearance of stand-up comedian Park Chanyeol, private investigator Kim Joonmyun begins to uncover the darkness behind the comedian's goofy grins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make 'Em Laugh

  
Kim Joonmyun has an excellent sense of humor, and woe to anyone who doubts him. It's just that he has a different way of expressing his humor. Joonmyun lets his wit peek out through subtle puns that almost always go missed, a slight tilt of the eyebrows when making a microscopically suggestive statement, mismatching socks when he's feeling whimsical... His assistant Huang Zitao always tells him to lighten up, but it's hard when Joonmyun's career is built on obsession with a healthy side of paranoia.   
  
The detective doesn't like to think about how investigating cases of adultery is his greatest source of income. Because even when the suspected partner is innocent, it doesn't negate the fact that Joonmyun was hired in the first place. When Joonmyun dreamed of being a private investigator, he could never have predicted that he would spend most of his career driving relationships apart. It doesn't take someone with Joonmyun's observational skills to see the lump in a client's throat, the sweaty palms, the thinly veiled dread of the investigative results.   
  
When Joonmyun receives the phone call from Park Yura, he is wrapping up yet another adultery case, this time between a Korean-Chinese couple. His client, a skyscraper of a man, had suspected his husband, a Korean man half his size with a bright, kittenish smile and a musical laugh, of cheating on him with another soft spoken, round-cheeked Korean man. It turned out that he wasn't just cheating on Joonmyun's client with that man, but also with the other Korean man's Chinese husband. As soon as Joonmyun revealed the messy love rectangle, he had pressed the business card of his favorite divorce lawyer into the softly sobbing client's hand.   
  
Joonmyun is clearing away the pile of tissues from his desk when he hears a soft knock on the door to his office.   
  
"Come in!" he calls, quickly shoving his waste basket aside and straightening his framed illustration of Sherlock Holmes.   
  
"You must be Park Yura," Joonmyun greets her warmly, but with reservation. He must be careful to not seem overly enthusiastic as he is wont to do, since an overwhelming majority of his clients would prefer not to be clients at all.   
  
"Yes, nice to meet you." She gives him a tight smile, and Joonmyun's mind automatically goes into detective mode. Yura is a tall woman who carries herself with a confidence that makes her seem even taller. But the way she can't quite meet Joonmyun's eyes and the fidgetiness in her fingertips suggest that her customary composure has been shaken.   
  
"What can I do for you today?"  
  
Luckily for Joonmyun, Yura is not reluctant in opening up to the detective, unlike many of his other clients.   
  
"I'm here for my brother, Chanyeol. Have you heard of him? He's a stand-up comedian, performs in clubs and bars, tv sometimes."   
  
It's almost a relief when Joonmyun hears the word "brother" and not "husband" or "partner." He doesn't know if he can go through another case so soon after his previous one. But he shakes his head and asks, "I'm afraid I haven't heard of him. What's worrying you?"  
  
"I haven't been able to reach him at all for the past couple weeks...I went to his apartment to pick something up, but he wasn't there, which was fine. But I tried calling him, and then again the next day and the day after that. And then I left him alone for several days in case he just needed space or something, but when I called him again, he still wouldn't pick up."  
  
"Is there a reason he wouldn't be answering any of your calls?" Joonmyun asks carefully.   
  
"Absolutely not. Chanyeol and I haven't been...close lately, but we've always been civil with each other. It's not like him to just ignore me like this."  
  
"Have you filed a missing persons report?"  
  
"I have..." Yura begins hesitantly, handing him a copy of the file. "But the thing is, Chanyeol has had a...history...with drugs. If you tell a police officer something like that, they're just going to look for a dead body." She swallows, and Joonmyun gives her a moment to collect herself as he flips through the stapled report.   
  
"There's no reason to think he's dead though," Yura continues with conviction. "It sounds ridiculous, but you have to believe me. Chanyeol's reckless sometimes, but he's not stupid. He wouldn't let something like that happen to himself. We're not exactly close, but I know for a fact that he feels...secure about where he is in life. He's never showed any sign otherwise. He's a  _comedian_ , his job is to make people laugh."  
  
Joonmyun nods, and carefully examines each page of the report. The sections detailing Chanyeol's physical appearance are filled out thoroughly and meticulously, but the personal information is left curiously blank. Joonmyun frowns slightly at the boxes devoid of ink scribbles and Yura sighs.   
  
"I'm sorry. It makes me seem like a terrible sister probably, but really nobody knows much about Chanyeol's personal life nowadays," she admits in defeat.  
  
"He lays his life bare onstage...for better or for worse." She pauses, carefully considering her next words. "He isn't afraid to pull punches. He does what he needs to entertain an audience, even if it means alienating his friends, his family. None of us go to any of his shows anymore because we're afraid of what he might say. It's a hazard of being a friend or a family member of a comedian." She shrugs and continues.   
  
"But he's actually a very private person. I don't really know what goes on between the when he's performing and the occasional family visit."  
  
"I understand. I think I know where to begin the investigations."  
  
Yura smiles shakily and picks her purse up from the floor. "Thank you for listening to me, and thank you for helping Chanyeol."  
  
Joonmyun gives her a gentle, reassuring smile. "Thank you for coming in today. I'll do everything I can to find Chanyeol." As always, Joonmyun must maintain his strict policy of not making any promises. But the grateful smile he receives in return sets his heart somewhat at ease.   
  
  
  
  
As soon as Joonmyun gets home that evening, he starts prowling through the web for video footage of Chanyeol. He finds the video channel of a local comedy club at which Chanyeol is a regular. He seems to be a fan favorite, judging from the sheer volume of videos under his tag. Joonmyun clicks on the first video, dated from 2012. He watches as a lanky young man wearing a simple white button down and dark denim skinny jeans adjusts the microphone to his height. He makes a big show of it, since the microphone is set way too low, probably to accommodate a shorter performer just prior to him.   
  
"Thanks, Baekhyun," Chanyeol murmurs, and the audience starts chuckling already.   
  
Joonmyun watches, fascinated, as the young man named Chanyeol seamlessly flows from ridiculous anecdotes about school and his summer job at an ice cream stand to impressions of celebrities and even other performers, sprinkling one-liners throughout the entire set. Joonmyun makes a quick calculation in his head. Since the video was from two years ago, it means that Chanyeol would only have been about nineteen, fresh out of high school. His youthfulness is clear, not only from the way gazes out into the audience in amazement, but also in the innocence of his humor.   
  
Chanyeol doesn't try to shock or offend anyone. His jokes are lighthearted, fun, silly even. Nothing like the jaded cynicism of many of the comics Joonmyun has seen. Joonmyun watches more videos from around the same time period, when Chanyeol's hair is light brown and long enough to tuck behind his ear. The young comic is definitely a hit, eliciting frenzied screams and squeals from the audience just by gamboling onstage. There is a demographic shift, as more and more young women seem to be in the audience. Joonmyun can see why, with Chanyeol's sweet, boyish charms, which somehow seem to be at odds with the deep purr of his voice.   
  
Joonmyun goes through all the Chanyeol videos chronologically, and suddenly he’s on a video from 2013, and Chanyeol’s hair is no longer that silly brown bob, but a dark, almost black close-cropped cut. He's no longer a cute teenage kid anymore, he's more mature, more handsome. Devastatingly so, Joonmyun notes with a lump in his throat. This time, when Chanyeol graces the stage, he is wearing a full-on suit, not just his usual shirt and jeans. He straightens his tie, and clears his throat, and the crowd goes wild. A smirk tilts his lips, and he cocks his head slightly to the left. The audience hushes immediately when he brings his lips to the microphone.   
  
"Did you miss me?" he asks softly, his voice low and thrilling. The question is met with an enthusiastic uproar, and the comedian's smirk breaks into a wide grin that consumes his entire face, eliciting even more screams from the audience.   
  
Although Chanyeol’s previous performances had been silly and rather safe, this time the jokes are sharper, edgier. Caustic, even. The first joke is received by a nervous smattering of chuckles.   
  
"I always get confused between claustrophobes and homophobes. Which is the one afraid of being in the closet?"  
  
His eyes scan the crowd disinterestedly for a second at the lukewarm response. Before the audience has a chance to murmur at Chanyeol's uncharacteristic opening, he is moving onto the next beat.   
  
"Speaking of Baekhyun," Chanyeol continues. He pauses to let the segue sink in. The comedian chuckles into the mic when a low _oooohhhh_  ripples through the audience, the kind of collective groan that indicates that he's managed to offend.   
  
Chanyeol delivers the rest of the performance with a bitterness that Joonmyun had never seen before. Some of the remarks are simply shocking in their cynicism and crudeness. By the time Chanyeol finishes his set, it is clear that the audience is just as confused as Joonmyun feels, hunched over his laptop in his kitchen. It is clear that  _something_  happened between late 2012 and May 2013, the date of the video Joonmyun is puzzling over. He has no idea what it could be though, but he has a feeling this Baekhyun might be involved.   
  
  
  
  
"Yura?"  
  
"Hello, who is this?"  
  
"It's Joonmyun. I'm just calling to ask if you have any idea of who a certain Baekhyun might be? An acquaintance of Chanyeol's perhaps?"  
  
There is a moment of silence on the other end. "...What does Byun Baekhyun have to do with any of this?"  
  
"I was watching some of Chanyeol's videos, from the comedy club he performs at. There seems to have been a period of several months of inactivity between late 2012 and spring of 2013, during which he seemed to have...transformed."  
  
"Well, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were in...I can't quite call it a  _relationship_ , but Chanyeol liked him very, very much. From what I understand, Baekhyun wasn't quite ready to come out yet. So he started dating another girl out of nowhere. If Chanyeol was bothered by it, he never let it show. He's not the type to mope about things."  
  
"Did you notice any changes in behavior, of any kind? Any shifts in thinking or behaving, however gradual?"  
  
"I don't know...if he changed at all, it must have been too gradual for me to have even noticed. I just know that he moved out of our parents' house during that timeframe and was around a lot less."  
  
"Do you know what he might have been doing while he wasn't around your family?"  
  
"Performing, writing, I guess."  
  
"It appears that he didn't perform during that period though, at least not at that particular club... What do you know about his writing?"  
  
"For every set that he performs, he writes his own jokes, and he always spends a ridiculous amount of time perfecting each and every sentence. I've seen him in action, back when we were still in high school and he was only dreaming of making it onstage someday. Every word that comes out of his mouth is deliberate, catering to his audience. He never throws out trash just to get things off his chest the way some other comics do. And his thoughtfulness shows, the audience loves him."  
  
This gets Joonmyun thinking. If Chanyeol is so careful and deliberate about his writing, then what was that Baekhyun thing about? To call someone out like that was completely unprofessional of him. He must have been in a bad state of mind if months of writing had only culminated in cheap shots at Baekhyun's expense. But he decides not to mention his thoughts to Yura, making a mental note to continue watching the rest of Chanyeol's videos to see if his quality of writing continues to regress.   
  
"Thanks for answering my questions, Yura. By the way, do you happen to know Baekhyun's contact info?"  
  
"You're welcome, Joonmyun. And I'll look through my contacts for his number. I'll text you if I find it."  
  
"Thanks so much, Yura. Sorry to bother you this evening."  
  
"You can call me anytime if you think I'll be able to help you get a step closer to Chanyeol, really...Goodbye, Joonmyun."  
  
Joonmyun is watching the next video when he receives a text with Baekhyun's cell phone number. He saves it to his contacts and scribbles a reminder to himself to give the man a call first thing in the morning.   
  
Interestingly, Chanyeol's jokes become gradually more subdued after his first comeback performance. Although he never mentions Baekhyun by name again, the oblique references to failed relationships indicate that he hadn't quite gotten over Baekhyun just yet. He never regains his childlike innocence from his debut year, though. He no longer shares anecdotes about high school or late nights selling ice cream by the tennis courts. Instead, he jokes about his utter lack of marketable skills that made it impossible for him to find a safe, corporate job.   
  
Even though Chanyeol is as brilliant as ever at working the audience, Joonmyun can't help but feel a vague unease at the content of his jokes. It's like he's watching someone dealing with having to grow up a little too quickly. Chanyeol jokes about family disputes, debt, unemployment, heartbreak. There's an underlying wistfulness, a restlessness to his words that make Joonmyun's heart tighten every time Chanyeol chuckles sadly into the microphone.   
  
The later videos from 2013 are more or less the same, except Joonmyun thinks that a bit of the post-Baekhyun bitterness might have crept back into Chanyeol's voice. He doesn't flash any of his goofy grins anymore, nor does he try to win over the audience with his boyish charm. He doesn't need to, because the audience is already captivated by his ethereal handsomeness and the low, rumbling baritone of his voice. The dark hair in contrast with his pale skin makes him look handsome in a way that's slightly beyond human.   
  
And then there's another gap in time between the end of 2013 and May 2014, the date of the last video in the playlist. The video was posted just a couple weeks before Chanyeol went missing. This time when Chanyeol strides onstage, his hair is a deep raspberry, his bangs pushed back from his forehead. He doesn’t smile at the cheers that greet him as he reaches for the microphone. Instead, he just inclines his head slightly, and gives a dismissive little wave to quiet down the audience. The corner of his mouth tugs down, dimpling his cheek. The camera zooms in on his face, and there’s a darkness in his gaze. The soft bags of skin under his eyes appear purple and bruised. He no longer carries himself with that confident, almost cocky self-assurance. There’s a slump in his shoulders and haggardness in his stance that breaks Joonmyun's heart.   
  
If the bitterness of Chanyeol's previous performances had been directed outwardly to friends and family members, the negativity of this monologue is directed solely towards himself. It makes the self-deprecating remarks of his 2013 performances seem mild in comparison. This time, Chanyeol talks about himself with what can't be described any way other than a pure self-loathing. Throughout the entire set, Chanyeol's "jokes" are met with no more than smatterings of uneasy laughter. But the comedian is unfazed. It's like he isn't even trying to be funny.   
  
At the end of the set, Chanyeol twists the microphone back into place and nods in acknowledgement of the uncomfortable applause. Somewhere in the back of the auditorium, someone starts booing. Chanyeol walks offstage without a glance behind him.   
  
By the time Joonmyun finishes the videos, it's almost midnight. When he closes his eyes to sleep that night, his mind is still racing with thoughts of Chanyeol. Usually Joonmyun manages to mentally block out his cases for the sake of his own sleep, but there's something about Chanyeol and his sudden disappearance that won't let Joonmyun's mind rest. His imagination is buzzing with possible scenarios, but before he can formulate a hypothesis, there are a few things he needs to figure out about the man.   
  
The way that Yura was convinced that Chanyeol had been content with his life is baffling to Joonmyun. Chanyeol must have been excellent at compartmentalization if he was able to maintain such a façade in front of his own sister. But it's almost ironic in a way. Whereas most people confine their personal issues to their personal lives, Chanyeol is only honest about his personal life when he's onstage, trying to entertain a crowd. Joonmyun can see why Chanyeol's friends and family would be uncomfortable with the act, watching their lives and experiences being used for the sake of comedy. Although Chanyeol occasionally toes the line of mockery, he has never tried to humiliate anyone outright. Except for Baekhyun, who Joonmyun is determined to speak with first thing in the morning.  
  
  
  
  
"Hello, who is this?"  
  
"Hi Mr. Byun, this is Private Investigator Kim Joonmyun, I was wondering if you would be willing to answer some questions about Park Chanyeol."  
  
"I'm sorry, I haven't been in contact with Chanyeol in over a year, so I can assure you that I have nothing to do with whatever shit Chanyeol's gotten himself into this time-"  
  
"Please, Chanyeol's gone missing," Joonmyun pleads gently, but assertively. "You're in no way a suspect, but I'm just trying to investigate every lead possible. I just...need to try and understand him better."  
  
There is silence on the other end, but Baekhyun hasn't hung up yet.   
  
"...Mr. Byun?  
  
"Let me text you an address. We'll meet there in an hour."  
  
"Thank you very much, Mr. Byun."  
  
"Baekhyun, please."  
  
"Yes, of course, thank you, I'll see you in an hour."  
  
  
  
  
Joonmyun arrives at the cafe fifteen minutes early, wearing a long, dark peacoat with the collar turned up. His assistant Zitao had teased him about it but Joonmyun wears it out of the office anyways, claiming that it makes him easily identifiable as a detective. It must have worked, because soon a short, black haired man is sliding into the seat across from him.   
  
"You must be Detective Kim," he says, extending a hand.   
  
"Please, just call me Joonmyun." He shakes his hand with a polite smile.   
  
Baekhyun takes a menu and says offhandedly, "I must say, I'm surprised that you're trying to talk to me. Shouldn't you be out looking for him or something?"  
  
"The police department is already searching through every swamp and motel in the region," Joonmyun answers coolly. "I have limited time and limited manpower. Trying to fully understand Chanyeol's psyche would be infinitely more helpful to me than embarking on a blind goose chase."  
  
"I see. Well, what can I help you with today, Joonmyun?" There's a hint of derision in Baekhyun's voice that Joonmyun chooses to ignore.  
  
"Do you mind if I record this conversation?" Baekhyun waves him on to go ahead, so Joonmyun switches on the slim black object in his hand.   
  
"First of all, how long have you known Park Chanyeol?"   
  
"Since the time we both started performing at the same club a couple years ago."  
  
"Would you say that you and Chanyeol were particularly...close?" Joonmyun doesn't need for Baekhyun to go into uncomfortable details about their weird relationship with each other. Joonmyun just needs to know if Baekhyun will be able to help him piece together the puzzle that is Park Chanyeol.   
  
Baekhyun eyes him suspiciously, wary of the possible direction could be steering him towards. "If you know anything about Chanyeol, you'll know that he's like two different people at once. There's the side of him that his friends and family sees, all careful and guarded. But then there's how he acts on stage, raw and real.  
  
"Chanyeol's not the type to open up too much to just one person, but I'll just say that he was willing to let me...build a bridge between his two separate lives."  
  
"Why do you think he's so...split?"  
  
"He doesn't like people worrying about him, especially not his sister, who's been the one person that has unfailingly supported him through it all. But there's also a bit of...pride, I suppose. He always feels like he has something to prove, that pursuing his career in comedy instead of going to college was the right choice."  
  
"Forgive me for asking, but do you think it was, for him?"  
  
"Well I guess not, if he's at the bottom of a swamp somewhere!" Baekhyun chuckles, pleased at his own joke.  
  
“I think I’ve got all I need. Thanks for your time,” Joonmyun says stiffly, standing up to leave. “You know, for a comedian, you’ve got pretty bad timing,” he remarks nonchalantly as he walks away from the table.  
  
  
  
  
“Zitao, wearing the peacoat worked,” Joonmyun announces as he strolls back into the office.  
  
“What?” Zitao asks, looking up in surprise.  
  
“Nothing. Did you get the search warrant I asked for?”  
  
“Of course, Joonmyun.”  
  
“Excellent, I’ll see you later, Zitao.”  
  
“Goodbye, Joonmyun.”  
  
There is only one more place Joonmyun wants to visit before he officially begins looking for Chanyeol. He packs his camera, voice recorder, and forensics kit into his satchel and hops onto his bicycle to pedal his way to Chanyeol’s apartment.   
  
After the landlord lets him into the cozy studio apartment, Joonmyun quickly snaps photos to capture the slight disarray of Chanyeol’s home. There are books, papers, and clothes scattered across the floor, but no sign of a struggle or break-in. If Joonmyun didn’t know better, he would almost have expected Chanyeol to walk in any second and greet him, apologizing for the mess. The apartment looks well lived-in, even though it is devoid of life. Chanyeol has numerous photos arranged in a somewhat chronological blob tacked to the wall. Most of the photos seem to be from his childhood, when he had chubby cheeks and wore glasses and liked ferrets, apparently. Joonmyun scans the aggregate until one photo in particular catches his eye.  
  
It was probably taken during or right after high school, when Chanyeol’s hair was long and brown, like in the first video Joonmyun watched. Chanyeol is floating on his back with his eyes closed in a swimming pool, the blue water sparkling under the bright sunlight. His hair fans out around his head forming a halo, tendrils of hair lazily undulating with the gentle waves. Chanyeol’s expression, however, is what really catches Joonmyun’s notice. 2012 Chanyeol was always slightly spastic, 2013 Chanyeol was vaguely agitated, and 2014 Chanyeol was rather grim, but this sheer placidity is not something that Joonmyun had seen before. He didn’t know that Chanyeol was even capable of appearing so calm and peaceful. Even though the photo is perfectly benign, Joonmyun can’t help but find it a little unsettling. He tries not to think of how Chanyeol would look dead and shifts his attention to the contents of Chanyeol’s desk.  
  
Stacked on the cheap hardwood are piles of notebooks and legal pads. Joonmyun leafs through a few and discovers that they’re all filled with ideas for jokes. In fact, each individual notebook is devoted to a single set of jokes, with pages of brainstorming, drafts, revisions, and then a final “script” at the end. Even though Yura had told him how meticulously Chanyeol crafted every joke he delivered onstage, Joonmyun is still surprised by the extent of Chanyeol’s painstaking approach.   
  
There's another notebook on the corner of Chanyeol's desk, but this one is a smooth, black hardcover, unlike the cheap, flimsy covers of his other notebooks. There is white sans-serif lettering on the front of the cover that reads "Journal of Mistakes". It's one of those novelty notebooks found in the self-improvement section of bookstores. A holographic silver sticker in the corner of the cover says, "never make the same mistake twice!" It rings a little ominous to Joonmyun. He's sure there must be a better way to self-improve than keeping a daily record of every single mistake you make.   
  
He opens up the notebook, which is formatted like a planner on the inside. Each page is divided into seven blocks, one for each day of the week. There's a small box in the corner of each block for the date and enough space for a sentence or two describing each mistake. The first entry is from April 2012, the same day as Chanyeol's debut video.   
  
 _4/8/12: Forgot one of my own jokes. Won't happen again._  
  
Most of the entries are mundane, trivial notes to himself.   
 _  
4/13/12: Spilled coffee on a stranger by accident.  
  
4/22/12: Didn't look both ways before crossing the street. _  
  
But soon, the entries take on a clear theme.   
  
 _5/29/12: Didn't talk to Baekhyun today.  
  
5/30/12: Talked to Baekhyun today. Embarrassed myself a lot.   
  
6/1/12: Chickened out before I asked him out.   
  
6/2/12: Asked Baekhyun out. _  
  
Joonmyun flips forward through the book, and clenches his stomach when he encounters blocks of text that just say Baekhyun.   
  
 _10/24/12: Baekhyun  
  
10/25/12: Baekhyun  
  
10/26/12: Baekhyun_  
  
And so on for pages and pages. But then it just stops about three-quarters of the way through the journal, leaving the rest of the book blank. However, it doesn't set Joonmyun's heart at ease because he knows what was still going through Chanyeol's mind everyday even if he no longer wrote it down. The journal is a disturbing insight into the mind of someone who would rather keep his own insecurities and shortcomings a secret.   
  
It's almost night by the time Joonmyun is finished collecting data. From what he has gathered, Chanyeol left by his own volition, which rules out kidnapping. Unless he had been kidnapped from somewhere else, but Chanyeol's reclusive tendencies make that scenario less likely. Plus, Joonmyun can't think of a reason on earth for anyone to want to kidnap Chanyeol. An obsessive fangirl might, Joonmyun supposes.   
  
What also catches Joonmyun's attention is not the presence of something, but rather the lack of it. Joonmyun isn't sure whether he should be troubled or relieved by the fact that he can't find a suitcase anywhere in Chanyeol's apartment. It could mean one of several things, depending on whether or not Chanyeol wants to be found. If Chanyeol wishes to return to his life someday, then he could still be nearby. Joonmyun swallows at the prospect of being somewhere in Chanyeol's vicinity at this very moment. But if he has decided to escape his previous life for good, then Chanyeol could be literally anywhere. If Chanyeol has decided to fly halfway across the globe, the case is no longer within Joonmyun's scope.   
  
Either way, it confirms that Chanyeol is in hiding and not dead.   
  
  
  
  
The first thing Joonmyun does when he gets home is to check in with the local police department on their search for the Chanyeol. Apparently they have scoured every hotel within the region and they have now started checking dumpsters, below highway bridges, rivers, and the seashore. Joonmyun isn't quite sure which direction he'll go in, but he won't stop until he's exhausted every possibility that Chanyeol is alive and in the area. Just like when he's unsure of what to do for his other cases, Joonmyun tries to clear his head when he falls asleep, hoping that a good night's sleep will elucidate the conundrum. He's always been a firm believer that having a healthy amount of rest and a full belly is the best way to solve a case.   
  
Unfortunately, Joonmyun's night isn't exactly what he would consider restful. He can't stop thinking about Chanyeol, the gentle giant who is afraid of being honest. Unlike most performers who put a mask on when they are onstage, performing is the only time Chanyeol can take his mask off. For whatever reason, it's easier for him to be completely transparent and honest to strangers than to the people that really matter to him.   
  
And then there's the journal of mistakes, something that Joonmyun finds to be just as, if not more heartbreaking than Chanyeol's apparent fear of revealing his own troubles. It reveals just how heartbreakingly insecure Chanyeol is, especially when it comes to Baekhyun. Joonmyun wishes that he could take Chanyeol in his arms and assure him that there's nothing to be worried about and that he hadn't done anything wrong.   
  
The last image that lingers in Joonmyun's mind before he is overtaken by sleep is that chillingly peaceful expression on Chanyeol's face from the photograph of him floating in the water. In fact, when Joonmyun is plunged into the surreal world of dreams, Chanyeol's face is still in his mind's eye. The floating boy's expression is still the same, and his hair still forms a gently curling halo around his face. But this time, the surroundings are different. Instead of a swimming pool, Chanyeol is drifting lazily along a river in the middle of a pastoral expanse of grass that expands as far as the eye can see. The riverbank is jagged and rocky, and Joonmyun vaguely recalls memories from his childhood when he was told to be careful or else he'll trip on the rocks and fall in.   
  
Chanyeol begins to drift further away from Joonmyun, who starts running after him and calling out his name. Chanyeol's eyes snap open, and he tries to turn his head towards the source of Joonmyun's voice, but he is swept underwater by an especially strong current. His head bobs up and down as he tries to stay afloat, but the current is too strong and pulls him back under every time he fights to break the surface. Joonmyun is running after him and screaming Chanyeol's name, but he can't bring himself to jump in after him.   
  
After one last desperate gasp for breath, Chanyeol is submerged beneath the churning froth, letting the current drag him along. It suddenly starts down pouring, and Joonmyun feels like he is drowning, too. He screams until he's hoarse, trying search the waters for a sign of Chanyeol, but he is blinded by either rain or tears, or both.   
  
Joonmyun is still damp when he wakes up, his pillowcase soaked in tears and his sheets sticky with sweat. His throat is scratchy and raw because his screams were real. It's only after his nightmare, however, that Joonmyun thinks he knows where to begin his search. He just hopes that Chanyeol isn't where he's starting to dread he is.   
  
It's been years since Joonmyun has been to the river that appeared in his nightmare. He spent almost his entire childhood playing splashing around in its tributaries and skinny dipping on gentle summer evenings. But after one incident when he actually did slip on the rocky riverbank and nearly drowned in the current, Joonmyun was careful never to come near the river ever again.   
  
Kim Manor is built just on the edge of the river's floodplain, the only sign of human activity for miles. The risk of flooding was too great for any other housing developers, so the Kim family is the sole proprietor of the virgin lands surrounding the river. The manor and the pastoral fields surrounding it make for a quiet escape from civilization and reality. Joonmyun would visit a lot more often if he had the time, as well as patience for Jongdae, his younger cousin and current owner of the manor.   
  
Joonmyun bikes along the river down to the sprawling bungalow by the river that his family has owned for generations. Jongdae had been the "lucky" one to inherit the decrepit old building. A sign out front has the words "Kim Manor est. 1847" engraved into the marble. Propped up against the marble sign is another sign, a sheet of cardboard with "VACANCIES" scrawled in black felt tip marker. Joonmyun rolls his eyes and pedals up to the front door, leaning his bike against the wall.   
  
"Jongdae, what the hell are you doing?" he asks when his cousin opens the front door.   
  
"I turned Kim Manor into a boardinghouse," Jongdae explains with a sheepish grin, leading Joonmyun into the parlor.   
  
As he hands the detective a cup of tea, Joonmyun chastises, "Look, when grandma and grandpa left this house for you in their will, I think they intended for you to return it to its full splendor, not convert it to your own cash cow."  
  
"I got some renovations done, alright?" Jongdae sniffs. "I painted the walls myself, fixed the plumbing, I even climbed onto the roof to replace the tiling! I could have fallen off and died, Joonmyun. Have some appreciation."  
  
"Whatever, but you know that you have to get a license or whatever to run your own business. You need to get registered, for one thing. And there are rules and regulations to be followed. You can't just let people come here to stay and take their money. That's what you've been doing, haven't you?"  
  
"...Maybe..."  
  
"Jongdae!"  
  
"Look, Joonmyun. Being the sole heir to the manor has been a burden to me, as well."  
  
"Please," Joonmyun scoffs. "Since when is a free house a burden?"  
  
"I told you already, I had to do renovations and stuff! And I also had to quit my old job, so don't blame me for making use of my resources."  
  
"Jongdae, I hardly think that quitting your job at the adult film store is something to mourn over."  
  
"Well..." Jongdae says with a cheeky grin. "Anyways, how can I help you today, cousin?"  
  
"I've been working on a case," Joonmyun begins. "There's this guy who has been missing for the past couple weeks. I had, I don't know, a  _hunch_  that I might find him around here, somewhere by the river."  
  
"Not a lot of people come out here, unless they're looking for an escape..."  
  
"Exactly, which is why I thought I might find him around here. I'm just hoping I'm not too late... You haven't seen anyone wandering by the river lately, have you?"  
  
"I personally haven't, but maybe you could ask some of the guests if they have? Let me pull out the guest list and you can visit their rooms to interrogate them or whatever it is that you do."  
  
"Can't you call them first to give them a warning or something?"  
  
"No service out here. Can't afford it, sorry. Although, I must say that it's actually been kind of relaxing being away from technology and civilization." A wry smile twists Jongdae's lips, and Joonmyun asks, "Who are you, and what have you done with my cousin?"  
  
Jongdae laughs and leaves the parlor to retrieve the guest list. Joonmyun glances around the room and realizes that Jongdae actually has done a pretty fair job of fixing up the place. It no longer smells as musty as he remembers from his childhood, the floorboards don't creak as much as they used to, and he no longer holds the fear that the ceiling may collapse on him at any second.   
  
When Jongdae tosses the clipboard with the names of all the guests onto his lap, Joonmyun's heart starts beating out of his chest before his brain even quite figures out what is going on.   
  
 _Room 3: Park Chanyeol. Indefinite stay._  
  
"Chanyeol's here..." Joonmyun mutters to himself in disbelief. "Chanyeol's... _here_. Oh my god, Chanyeol's here!" He slams down the clipboard and starts running towards the staircase, Jongdae chasing after him.   
  
"Is that the guy you were looking for?" Jongdae asks, slightly out of breath as he follows Joonmyun up the staircase. "If you're going to go into his room, that might not be a great idea since he's kind of scary and doesn't seem to like people very much. I haven't seen him come out of his room once since he came here a couple weeks ago."  
  
Joonmyun whirls around to glare at Jongdae. "God dammit Jongdae, two weeks of self-imposed isolation is the very last thing that Chanyeol needs right now."  
  
"How was I supposed to know? What my guests do is none of my business!"   
  
Jongdae looks so hurt and indignant that Joonmyun has to take a second to breathe and calm himself enough to apologize.   
  
"I'm sorry, Jongdae, this is just... I have to see him immediately. Now go put yourself somewhere else so he doesn't get too overwhelmed by seeing too many people at once."  
  
Joonmyun cringes at his own tactlessness, but Jongdae complies with a huff, stomping off to god knows where. With shaking fingers, Joonmyun reaches out to twist the doorknob. His heart nearly stops beating when he sees Chanyeol laying on the bed, his long limbs tucked close to his body so that he is curled up in a giant ball. His back is facing Joonmyun, but the detective is sure that it's him because of the deep raspberry hair splayed against his pillow. Joonmyun swallows as he maneuvers across the floor, which is littered with torn out sheets of notebook paper. Drafts of jokes. There is a familiar looking stack of notebooks on the desk, as well as a dusting of white powder sprinkled across the surface. A few coins and a credit card are on the corner of the desk.   
  
Joonmyun quietly steps closer until he's on the other side of the bed and almost cries out in shock when he sees Chanyeol's face.   
  
Chanyeol's skin is gray and ashen, nothing like the dewy glow from the photos or videos. But his eyes are wide open.   
  
When Joonmyun steps into his line of vision, Chanyeol blinks, taken suddenly out of his dead-eyed stare by the appearance of...an angel?  
  
It's the only reason why such a beautiful man with such soft, sweet features could be standing before him- that Chanyeol has died somewhere between nods and this ethereal being has come to take him away. Chanyeol starts to sit up, his head dizzy from the sudden rush of blood after lying down for so long. He climbs out of bed to his feet, and the angel lets out a soft gasp and takes a step backwards.   
  
Even though Chanyeol is wearing a thick overcoat that hides his lanky arms and torso, Joonmyun can feel how thin and fragile Chanyeol has become when the comedian suddenly reaches out and pulls Joonmyun's body close to his.   
  
"Don't go," Chanyeol whispers fiercely into the angel's hair. "Take me with you."  
  
"Chanyeol," Joonmyun murmurs shakily, his cheek tickled by the scratchy wool of Chanyeol's overcoat. But his words are silenced by the feel of Chanyeol's lips moving against his. His face is cradled by Chanyeol's long, tapering fingers, which are smooth and cool against Joonmyun's cheeks.   
  
He tries not to let himself enjoy the kiss, telling himself that it means nothing. Chanyeol is in a delirious state of mind, that's all. He's been completely isolated from human contact for the past couple weeks, and could quite possibly be high judging from the contents of his desk. Joonmyun pulls himself away before he can start kissing back.   
  
"Chanyeol, I'm going to go get you help, okay? Just- just stay right here. Please."  
  
The smaller man extricates himself from Chanyeol's arms, quickly exiting the room without a glance behind. Chanyeol tries calling after him, but the man is already gone.   
  
"Come back," he sobs futilely. "I want to go with you..."  
  
Joonmyun sprints down the stairs, calling Jongdae's name, but his cousin is nowhere in sight. He curses under his breath and hops on his bicycle, holding his cellphone aloft with one hand, searching for a signal. As he pedals with an urgent desperation, Joonmyun realizes that Chanyeol had wanted to be found. He may have hidden himself away for a temporary escape, but the way he gave Jongdae his real name instead of an alias made it clear that he wasn't trying to drop off the face of the earth. Hiding out in the manor was ultimately not an act of defiance, but rather a desperate cry for help. Joonmyun can't help but suspect that Chanyeol was secretly hoping that someone would care about him enough to go looking for him. Knowing how difficult it is for Chanyeol to directly admit to his personal troubles, Joonmyun guesses that this was a desperate, last-ditch effort to express that something was wrong.   
  
It's several miles later when Joonmyun is finally close enough to civilization for his phone to be able to pick up a signal for service. He dials the emergency dispatch asking for police and an ambulance, but not too many people so as to not startle Chanyeol. When they ask him for an address, Joonmyun freezes for a moment because he isn't actually sure what the address of Kim Manor is since it was established long before the surrounding town. He makes the split second decision to give the operator his current location so he can wait for the police and ambulance to arrive and lead them back to the manor himself. He just hopes that Jongdae is still in the manor to keep an eye on Chanyeol until help arrives.   
  
But a few minutes later, Jongdae pulls up in his rusty red pickup truck and leans out the window.   
  
"Chanyeol's looking for you, hyung," he calls out, and Joonmyun nearly pops a blood vessel.   
  
"You left him by himself?!"  
  
"Calm down, he's by himself all the time anyways. But yeah, I think he went out to look for you-"  
  
"Give me your keys."  
  
Jongdae frowns. "Can you drive stick? Or even drive at all? I only ever see you riding your bike around..."  
  
"God dammit! Stay here until the police and ambulance arrive, and then lead them back to the manor."  
  
"Will do! Bye hyung~" Jongdae sings out after Joonmyun's furiously pedaling figure.   
  
  
  
  
Joonmyun double checks the manor just to make sure that Chanyeol hadn't wandered back inside. He calls out Chanyeol's name and forces open every door, even the other guests' bedrooms. (He has to apologize to a few flustered-looking strangers.) When Joonmyun bursts through Chanyeol's door, everything is in place, except Chanyeol and his woolen overcoat. Joonmyun cries out in anguish and sprints back outside.   
  
The manor is surrounded by a flat, grassy meadow that stretches as far as the eye can see. If Chanyeol is on foot, Joonmyun would easily be able to spot him. But even after a 360 degree survey of the surrounding lands, Chanyeol is nowhere in sight. There is one more place, however, that Joonmyun could look. But before Joonmyun can bring himself to turn his search towards the river, he is interrupted by the sounds of sirens.   
  
"Hyung!" Jongdae greets him, slamming the door of his truck. "I'm sorry, I told them that sirens wouldn't be necessary since we're out in the middle of a field, but they insisted."  
  
Joonmyun hears the crackle and garbled white noise of a walkie talkie as a couple of police officers approach him. He swallows and addresses the officers. "I found Park Chanyeol in this building today. He was in an...unstable condition. I had to leave him alone in order to call for help, but he's... He's gone now."  
  
"Well, where could he be?" is the impatient response. The officers look around their wide, open surroundings. There's really nowhere to hide.   
  
"I think... He might be in the river."  
  
The officers push past Joonmyun to peer into the river. But the swiftly flowing current must have swept away any sign of the comedian.   
  
"Mr. Kim, where is the outlet for this river?"  
  
"The ocean," Joonmyun and Jongdae answer at the same time. Jongdae grins cheekily at Joonmyun, who chooses to ignore his cousin.   
  
"We'll check the beach in a few days. He'll probably wash up on shore by then." The officers start walking back to their car.   
  
"Wait! Aren't you going to look in the river?"  
  
One of the officers sends Joonmyun a patronizing look and says, "If you want to go fishing, knock yourself out."  
  
The police vehicle drives away, followed the ambulance. They leave behind an obnoxious ringing sound in their wake, but Joonmyun feels like he has suddenly gone deaf from the stuffiness in his head.   
  
Jongdae pats him on the shoulder sympathetically. "Do you need a ride back home, hyung?"  
  
But Joonmyun is rooted to the ground. "Those assholes!" he spits. "They didn't even look for evidence in Chanyeol's bedroom."  
  
"Hey, that's why you're needed in this world. You're an ace detective, hyung. Please don't let this get you down...it's really not your fault."   
  
Jongdae gives his cousin a much needed hug, and Joonmyun allows himself to rest his head on his shoulder.   
  
"Let me make you something to eat before I take you back home!" Jongdae suggests brightly. "All the guests love my cooking."  
  
Joonmyun laughs shakily. "You really have grown up, Jongdae."  
  
The younger cousin just chuckles fondly and hops back into his truck. "Do you want to come with me back to the house?"  
  
"No, I need to...collect my thoughts. But thanks for the offer."  
  
Jongdae smiles in understanding and drives off, leaving a faint cloud of dust suspended in the air.   
  
Joonmyun lets out a shuddery exhale when his cousin is gone. Like Chanyeol, Joonmyun doesn't like to let other people see his struggles. Despite how Jongdae tried to console him by convincing him otherwise, Joonmyun knows that it's his fault for letting Chanyeol out of his sight. Joonmyun collapses to his knees, scraping his palms on the rocky riverbank. He crawls to the edge of the river and stares into the water, his reflection disfigured by the ebb and flow of the current.   
  
For a moment, he thinks that he can see Chanyeol's face in the water wearing that same peaceful expression from the photograph. He blinks, and the image disappears. Joonmyun's salty tears fall into the freshwater, adding tiny ripples to the ceaseless flow of the river.   
  
Eventually, Joonmyun picks himself up from the ground and takes a few staggering steps along the riverbank. Somehow he manages to walk all the way over to the estuary of the river without slipping. He sees a dark mass floating in the marshy water. Without even taking off his shoes or rolling up his pants, Joonmyun wades into the water towards the shape.   
  
"Chanyeol!" he cries out hoarsely, desperately.   
  
When he reaches the dark mass, he pulls on it. It's Chanyeol's overcoat, caught on a rock. The man who had been wearing the coat is nowhere in sight.   
  
It's been over a couple of hours since Jongdae left Joonmyun by the riverbank. He knows that his cousin needs his space to think and recover, but it's getting late and the food is getting cold. Jongdae drives back to where he had left his cousin, but Joonmyun is no longer there. He groans slightly and drives slowly along the river, keeping an eye out for the detective.   
  
Jongdae slams on his brakes when he reaches the estuary and sees Joonmyun curled up on the grass by the edge of the water.   
  
"Joonmyun! Joonmyun, are you okay?" He runs over to his cousin's side. Joonmyun is sobbing, clutching a dark, wet mass of fabric to his chest.   
  
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Let me take you back. Shh, it's okay. Can you walk on your own?" Jongdae coos, helping Joonmyun up to his feet. "Let me take that from you- oh wow, this is heavy. What the hell? There are rocks in the pockets."  
  
At those words, Joonmyun lets out an even more pained cry, and Jongdae curls an arm around his shoulders. "Shh, it's okay, hyung. Let's go back to the manor, and you can eat and shower and change your clothes. It's not your fault, hyung. It's really not your fault."  
  
  
  
  
Three days later, Joonmyun receives a phone call from Yura.   
  
"Hi, Joonmyun. Um, I just wanted to tell you that they...they found Chanyeol's body. Washed up on shore just like you told me they said he would."  
  
"Yura, I'm so-"  
  
"No, no need to apologize. They did an autopsy and found a ton of junk in his system. He was probably drunk or high or whatever and fell into the river by accident."  
  
"I'm so sorry..."  
  
"Thanks Joonmyun." She sighs, and Joonmyun can imagine the shake of her head. "Chanyeol's always been a klutz, but I can't believe this is how it had to end." She laughs humorlessly. "I feel like an awful person for finding the irony in this situation... I guess it just hasn't sunk in fully yet."  
  
"It's okay, I understand."  
  
"Honestly, I'm almost glad that it was an accident, as terrible as it sounds. If he took his own life... I-I don't know. That would be the most heartbreaking ending of all... Anyways, thank you for listening to me and for your help, Joonmyun."  
  
"You're welcome, Yura."  
  
Joonmyun waits for her to hang up. He never mentions the rocks he found in Chanyeol's pockets.   
  



End file.
